GUEST POST - LYNDA RENHAM

Today, British RomCom author, Lynda Renham, and I are playing the blog swap game. I'm pleased to be featuring a guest post of Lynda's that I'm sure all you cat lovers will get a kick out of, and if you hop over to Lynda's site, you'll see a fun Q&A I did. Thanks to Lynda for hosting me and for sharing this post!

I’m thrilled to be featured on author Tracie Banister’s blog. It is always fun to meet another romantic comedy writer. So, thank you so much for inviting me Tracie. I thought it would be fun to tell you a little about me through a guest blog posting about my cat. But feel free to check out my latest novel ‘Fudge Berries and Frog Knickers.’  <Blogger's Note: Does Lynda have the best titles for her books or what? They always make me smile!> 

I so enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoy reading it just as much. Meanwhile more about my cat Bendy. 

Bend It Like Bendy

Easter is heading towards us and I have bought my husband, Andrew, a chocolate bunny, a little chocolate treat to celebrate Easter. As I looked at it I was immediately reminded of the little headless bunnies that Bendy our cat brought in for us last year. The thought of all that again this summer makes me shudder. The pleasure of owning a cat is certainly overshadowed by that cruel thing called nature. Don’t you just hate those calm cat lovers who, as the cat belts into the house with a live mouse, say,

‘It’s nature.’

What are they talking about? Nature is flowers and colourful butterflies. Nature is watching those little cress seeds slowly grow into something edible. I love my cat but the pleasures of having a pet are wearing a little thin in this household. Our cat while cuddly and loveable inside the house turns into a genocidal maniac outside. The problem is not his hunting ability but his inability to hang onto his prey, and his insistence on bringing it inside the house.

Last summer I walked into the kitchen to many a headless rabbit, a leftover mouse’s kidney, and on the odd occasion a bat. But there were many more bodies that he had dropped and lost inside the house, some dead and others alive and not to mention the half dead which Andrew has to finish off. Then there are the sparrows and finches which no amount of screaming will force him to drop. Last weekend mother-in-law came to stay and, as a gift to her, Bendy brought in a large live mouse. Mother-in-law thanked him with a horrendous scream and a fast leap to the bathroom which, after her hip operation is some mean feat I assure you. In shock at this reaction Bendy dropped said mouse. Andrew had conveniently gone for a run so I was left screaming at the cat, ‘Find it. Find it.’ As if he understood English.

I also swear he waits for Andrew to go out before committing his evil acts. When Andrew is away on business Bendy assumes the position of head of the house and showers me with more than my fair share of gifts. One time he brought three bunnies in the space of two hours, and another time he left a big juicy rat. I shudder at the memory. The problem with Bendy is that he loses more mice than he kills. Last week Andrew went to get a saucepan from the cupboard only to find mouse droppings.

‘That’s it, I’ve had it with that cat,’ he snarled, as saucepan after saucepan came out of the cupboard and the whole place was scrubbed and disinfected and a mouse trap strategically placed.

‘That’s one mouse dead then,’ I hear you say.

Oh, if only it were that simple. This mouse was not just any mouse. It is Super-Houdini-Mouse. So far it has chewed through a jar of peanut butter which was used as mouse bait, teased Andrew when he tried to catch it and tormented Bendy. Three times he has been caught in the trap and managed to escape. It has peed all over my J cloths and left a tidy mess eating through my dusters. But worst of all it has bitten through and consumed my box of Maltesers. Now that is just plain off, right? To say Bendy, who was the cause of this mayhem, is not popular is an understatement. This weekend I traipsed around the hardware shops searching for superhuman industrial strength mega mouse traps. I came home with two traps and a sonic deterrent which scared me and the cat but has had no effect on the mouse. We now have five mouse traps in the cupboard but amazingly Houdini Mouse is still at large. We are reaching the stage where blowing up the kitchen doesn’t seem like a bad idea. But hey, its nature.

About the Book

Poppy Wellesley is rich. In fact Poppy Wellesley is very rich, so when her fortunes change from riches to rags Poppy has to start a whole new life. Put yourself in her Guccis as she swaps her penthouse apartment for a run-down houseboat on Regent’s Canal. Meet her dippy friend Chelsea, the infamous Jack Diamond (see The Dog’s Bollocks) and her hunky boat neighbour, Taylor. Will Poppy hold on to her millionaire fiancé or will Pug-face Pandora steal him from her? Can she avoid the advances from Balls (Lord Balthazar Wyndham-Price) or does she find true love on the canal? Fudge Berries and Frogs’ Knickers is a romantic comedy roller coaster ride that will put a smile on your face and a cheer in your heart.


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About the Author

Lynda Renham has been writing for as long as she can remember and had her first work published in a magazine at age nine and has continued writing in various forms since. She has had several poems published as well as articles in numerous magazines and newspapers. Recently she has taken part in radio discussions on the BBC.

She has studied literature and creative writing courses and has a blog on her web page. Fudge Berries and Frogs' Knickers is her newest book. Her previous releases include Pink Wellies and Flat Caps, The Dog's Bollocks, and Coconuts and Wonderbras among others.

Lynda lives with her second husband and cat in Oxfordshire, England. She is Associate Editor for the online magazine The Scavenger and contributor to many others. When not writing Lynda can usually be found wasting her time on Facebook.

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